week18

this is week 18 since you walked away
you told me to stay away from you
you asked me lo leave you alone
here i am
leaving you alone
i talked with arend
i wish he understand i dont need a guardian angel
i dont need someone alway there
because i like my loneliness
thw way it is
this week i was trained with more skills
maybe is my attitude
but work is becoming a lot more heavy
anyway, i still like it
im gonna take victors advise
even if you look for me or talk to me
i will run away from you
you will hurt me
you cant decide what you want
i learned
im good at pretending to be a doll
bitter inside
a beautiful mask on the outside
so anyone can play with me...
be happy...be glad
you DO honor your nickname
spirit crusher suicide bastard
i dont want to feel anymore
always people pushing me forward
cant they see im right here
i WANT to stay right here
with only myself
i dream this week weird stuffz
i dreamt i was a thief
in the medieval age
i was long haired
and was very skinny
i was always running away from people
i had always blood in my hands
i was always hunted down.
Rosemary is barely hear until recently
she has been out twice this week
once on friday night
i dont remember how i got home
i just woke up
with a dont know how many benadryl insidethe second time was on weekend
on saturday Arend asked me to help him pick a dog
for his new house
we went to animal shelder
and found a beautiful what i think could be an alaskan mallamut
then choco invited me to casa rock
i drank 4 vodka shots, 2 black smirnoffs, and i loose the count of jaggers
i met a guy called Andre
for some reason
that guy calls my attention
not by heart
is more the curiosity a cat feels for a moving bug
choco warned me he is up to no good
at this point im awesome pretendig to be a doll
so everyone can play with me
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song of the week
Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person,
and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much?
So much like choking down the embers of a great blaze.
It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions
and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds.
You let this one person come down in the most perfect moment.
And it breaks my heart to know the only reason you are here now is a reminder of what I'll never have...
I'll never have... I'll never...
Standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in...
standing so close knowing that it kills me to breathe you in...
But this table for one has become bearable.
I now take comfort in this, and for this, I cherish you.
Did you ever look, did you ever see that one person
and the subtle way that they do these things and it hurts so much?
So much like choking down the embers of a great blaze.
It's that moment when your eyes seem to spread aspersions
and to scream confessions at the insipid sky parting clouds.
And you let this one person come down...come down...I cherish you...I cherish you.
Just say that you would do the same for me...
just say you would do the same for me...
just say you would do the same...
just say you would do the same, for me
For as much as I love Autumn,
I'm giving myself to Ashes

Quote of the week
"I had a dream and it was about you ...
I smiled and recalled the memories we had ...
then I noticed a tear fell from my eyes ... you know why?
Coz in my dream you kissed me and said goodbye ." by annon