week 17

this is week 17 since you walked away
im just fine i guess
im learning how to control things
i miss you neko
this weekend we went to fraijanes to camp.
it was a beautiful full moon in a clear sky
full of stars
we even saw a shooting star
my wish was made secretly
i wish you would have been there
i see you conected
i guess you do just fine
i want the happiness for you
even when in not yours
you are my happines lil neko
i wont make a resume of what
i do from now on
you just dont care
but if this blog continue open
and i continue writting on it
means that i love you
maybe some day
whe you are tired of life
of people
of everything
maybe you remember me
and come back
i never meant to cause you trouble
in fact this time i didnt
but i hacve learned
that when you have an idea
is hard for me to take it out
victor told me
to not to get lost in the pain
of solitude
im lost but somehow
i like it
very much
Quote of the week
Every day after I wake up, I think, 'Wait... this can't be real; I'm still going to wake up.'
Michael Phelps

song of the week
In my place, in my place
Were lines that I couldn't change
I was lost, oh yeah

I was lost, I was lost
Crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed
I was lost, oh yeah

Yeah, how long must you wait for him?
Yeah, how long must you pay for him?
Yeah, how long must you wait for him?

I was scared, I was scared
Tired and underprepared
But I wait for you

If you go, if you go
Leaving me here on my own
Well I wait for you

Yeah, how long must you wait for him?
Yeah, how long must you pay for him?
Yeah, how long must you wait for him?

Please, please, please
Come on and sing to me
To me, me

Come on and sing it out, out, out
Come on and sing it now, now, now
Come on and sing it

In my place, in my place
Were lines that I couldn't change
I was lost, oh yeah
Oh yeah
in my place-coldplay-

week 16

im sorry you found out that way
its week 16 since you walked away form me
Arend is a nice person
i just
that wont be fair for him
on weekend
i saw you and my [pale face recognized shame
im not strong enough to see you face to face
all fridar evening and saturday morning
you send me those msg
i wish i could have gone
and tell you how much i love you too
but i was stuck
and i drank till i felt too sleepy to keep answering
u just want to get away from this pain
i learned to control it
but sometimes it still
takes my breath away
im not strong enough to get out of this circle
on monday i talked to arend
to leave things as just friends
i dont luike to see ppl crying
because of me
but i guess it needs to be done
this weekend im going t6o fraijanes
leo, charlie, isaac, kro, choco, pablo, arend and me
i just need to relax and have a good ride next to my friends
funny thing you are planning a camp in fraijanes too
one week after i planed mine
i miss you kitty
i talk with victor
he said you are an emotional dog
he made me see
im no different fromother persons to you
but you know
i still wait
i got my tattoo!
so i can always remember my promises to you
i wish you could see it...
looks pretty cute actually
next month i will have the wings on the back
i hope you have a happy life lil neko
i told you i would wait
im a good girl

song of the week
we will meet again
johny cash
We'll meet again
Don't know where
Don't know when
But I know
We'll meet again
Some sunny day

Keep smilin' thru
Just like you
Always do
'Til the blue skies drive
The dark clouds
Far away

And will you please say hello
to the folks that i know
Tell'em that I won't be long
And they'll be happy to know
That when you saw me go
I was singing this song

We'll meet again
Don't know where
Don't know when
But I know
We'll meet again
Some sunny day

[Spoken:]
Yeah we'll meet again
I don't know where
Anf I don't know when
But I do know
That we'll meet again
Some sunny day

[Spoken:]
So Honey
Keep on smilin' thru
Just like you always do
'Til the blue skies
Drive the dark clouds
Far away

And would you please say hello
To all the folks that I know
And tell'em I won't be long
They'll be happy to know
That when you saw me go
I was singing this song

[With Choir:]
We'll meet again
Don't know where
Don't know when
But I know
We'll meet again
Some sunny day

quote of the week
You and I will meet again, When we're least expecting it, One day in some far off place, I will recognize your face, I won't say goodbye my friend, For you and I will meet again.
Tom Petty

week 15

week 15.
i dont knwo what to say
on saturday i saw you
you looked happy
i just went to
see you
i love to see you
your smell
your beautiful face
but on sunday
i kissed a guy
i think i like
although im not so sure about it
how shopuld i tell you
i dont want to breeak my promise
i miss you
i want you
this week
has been akward
that guy
is somehow one of the bosses
around here
i dont want
yo have laboral issues
because of that
besides
is you who i think
when im at night
in my room
lonely
i think i should just
leave like this
the way thinghs are
i want you my neko
i want you so bad.....
as i told you before
i m not gonna write a lot
because i knwo now you dont care anymore
but hey, you know, i still love you, i will still wait.
song of the week
good bye my lover by james blunt
Goodbye my lover --

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

quote of the week
Unless one says goodbye to what one loves, and unless one travels to completely new territories, one can expect merely a long wearing away of oneself and an eventual extinction.
Jean Dubuffet

week 14,

Week 14, i dont even know where to start
i finally entered to the floor
this job is stressing
still, easy
i have not seen isaac i miss that bastard a lot
latelly, ive been in my stuffs
i have been wondering what to do with you these weeks
after what you told me on msn
why cant i make you happy
do you love me or you not?
im havong a hard time reading you
because you look so different
i wait, i wait.
my mom is not doing so good
i wish i could help her more
this is really gonna be a short entry
im sorry it took me so long to write it
there is no much more to say about this week.
i have been quite lazy lately
no money and so
next week a guy invited me to the movies
on sunday
on saturday i wanna see you
i am actually planning to sell one of my cameras
because i really need money
i finally got my cellphone as you know
i love to take pictures
so im very happy with it.
i wondwe i winder i wonder
how do you say you miss me.
you are gone now
im behind that crystal wall


this entries will be short
cuz i know you dont read anymore


song of the week
"Leaving On A Jet Plane" by chantalKREVIAZUK

I'm ... I'm ...

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye

But the dawn is breakin', it's early morn
The taxi's waitin', he's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go

I'm ...

There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I'll tell you now, they don't mean a thing

Every place I go, I think of you
Every song I sing, I sing for you
When I come back I'll wear your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time, oh, let me kiss you
And close your eyes and I'll be on my way

Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave alone
About the times that I won't have to say ...

Oh, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go

And I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go

But I'm leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
(Leaving) On a jet plane


Quote of the week
"Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it."

Week 13

lonely.
i feel lonelty
i believe there are some days
that should be erased from my calendar
why is always this pain present
on 30s?
i always want to go to the beach
at see the sunset
in "the rocks"
I found my favorite book
this weekend
which i read on my adventure on sunday
even if this book
have nothing to do with you
because it had always been my favorite
but always the conversation
between the fox and the little prince
reminds me of you
therefore make my eyes water
my weekend was weird, akward, a mess
but somehow made me feel better
to swim in the cold water and scream
alone, in the forest
in the rain
im happy you gave me the surprise on monday
being in your arms
and having you in mine
just for a few moments
was the BEST thing that could ever happen
since you surprised me with a rose
arriving my house
at 11.00pm
but i dont understand
i dont know what to do
i dont know how to act
i dont even know what you want
we are grown ups
cant you tell me straight what you pretend
because by your comments
i dont think you wuld mind if i hug you all night long
you wouldnt mind i believe even if i kissed the tip of your nose
like i liked, like i like to do it
but again
what if that makes you go away like before
but what is the difference before and now at the end?
the only difference is that i may see you
and i may touch you
but i cant feel you
and maybe just maybe
that feeling is even more painful
but still
is like a drug
pleasant while last
thank you neko chan
even if it will hurt later on
thank you.
i wish i was part of your day to day life
just to be able
to see you smile
to hug you while i watch your sleep
i wont lie
i still have the waves
the big ones come more often since i saw you
but they disapear as fast as they arrive
i love you
i want you
i miss you
wednesday...
13 months ago
i had one of the happiest days of my life
and today i can tell 14th months ago
i had the happiest day off my life
and i still grieve why it can not be repited
Maria, a friend at work
was listening to the song you are beautiful
i gaught the song at the last sentence
"but is time to face the truth
i will never be with you"
thats a truth that i am not ready to face
i wait
i wait
i wait
leo asked me
if there was a possibility
that someone created
the perfect, treatment, potion, chemical whatever
that made human body be ageless
eternal life
and it was offered to you
would you take it?
same as isaac
when we where talking about becoming vampires
would we take the chance?
my answer remain unchanged
if i took the potion i would ask first to the person i love
if he whould take it
if he agreed
i would
that does not mean
the person have to be with me
even like me
but i would be happy if he is alive
if he is doing fine
and then i would take my inmortality
to make him be happy
the best way i can
even if that means walking away
or be with that person.
There are somethings
that make me think
and dissapoint me
last weekend
when you talked to me
you said
you have been drinking
meaning you were not thinking with your 5 senses
you have not made any kind of comments this week
this is why i wonder
if maybe you realized you really didnt want to say the things you said
on the other side
on monday you surprised me that way
thats why lil neko
i dont know what to do
i am sick and tired of wondering!!!!!!!!
i wait hour after hour
to see if you talk to me
at work
also when
im at home
i dont know
i wish i knew
but everything just conspires for me to think
that you could gimem a chance...
after friday
i am
or am i not
FUCK! why you complicate my life so much
you are the person i love
i feel that cold sensation
on my chest always i think on you
same coldness puts me in shivers
and bring tears to my eyes..
i dont knwop what to do
i saw you on friday
i was dying to kiss you
to hug you just to be next to you all night long
nights could become sweet crimes
on weekend i went to the kamen
with a friend
he got me a cute ice cream necklace
i might believe he is interested
because he asked me to go out again
and at works is rather more than kind with me
comes visit me at any free time he have
I dont wanna be involved in more
romantic issues here
neko i want you
i need you
if you care
if you can
why are you not forward with me
why you say you want to chill
then write me you wanna be with me
your mind works in rather mysterious ways lil mouse
but i wait
im a good girl and i wait for you
whatever is the desition you take
i will
thank you
thank you for going on with me on friday
it was 2nd
it was so important to me
14 months since the happiest day of my life
i wish moments like those, ever end...
and i would be able to watch your sleep
all night long....
im doing nothing at work
i dont have system access
so i spend my days in aux 2
this leave me so much time to think of you
why do you do this
why did you got close to me
if after all i would only end hurted
because you know i want you back
i wont give up and ill ask you out next weekend
i will find a way
i promised i would be there
and i am
why dont you just look at me?
maybe just maybe
you are a dream
you are my dream
but dont worry
as long as i am alive
your my dream will continue
even if in my dream i am just behind the glass wall
this is my week so far
i wonder hows your week
love of my life
-------------------------------------sabrina-----------------------------
song of the week
monochrome no kiss by SID

En el momento en que la proxima aguja larga
alcance el techo
tu ya no estaras, y yo ya no sere nesesario.

Aun asi, estoy seguro de que buscabamos la forma del amor
mas que a lo lejano,
esos ojos marchitos se aferran al presente
de ser posible, me gustaria acabar atrapado de esa forma
en vano, ese deseo de la noche traera la mañana.

Quote of the week

The promise given was a necessity of the past: the word broken is a necessity of the present.
Niccolo Machiavelli