Week 13

lonely.
i feel lonelty
i believe there are some days
that should be erased from my calendar
why is always this pain present
on 30s?
i always want to go to the beach
at see the sunset
in "the rocks"
I found my favorite book
this weekend
which i read on my adventure on sunday
even if this book
have nothing to do with you
because it had always been my favorite
but always the conversation
between the fox and the little prince
reminds me of you
therefore make my eyes water
my weekend was weird, akward, a mess
but somehow made me feel better
to swim in the cold water and scream
alone, in the forest
in the rain
im happy you gave me the surprise on monday
being in your arms
and having you in mine
just for a few moments
was the BEST thing that could ever happen
since you surprised me with a rose
arriving my house
at 11.00pm
but i dont understand
i dont know what to do
i dont know how to act
i dont even know what you want
we are grown ups
cant you tell me straight what you pretend
because by your comments
i dont think you wuld mind if i hug you all night long
you wouldnt mind i believe even if i kissed the tip of your nose
like i liked, like i like to do it
but again
what if that makes you go away like before
but what is the difference before and now at the end?
the only difference is that i may see you
and i may touch you
but i cant feel you
and maybe just maybe
that feeling is even more painful
but still
is like a drug
pleasant while last
thank you neko chan
even if it will hurt later on
thank you.
i wish i was part of your day to day life
just to be able
to see you smile
to hug you while i watch your sleep
i wont lie
i still have the waves
the big ones come more often since i saw you
but they disapear as fast as they arrive
i love you
i want you
i miss you
wednesday...
13 months ago
i had one of the happiest days of my life
and today i can tell 14th months ago
i had the happiest day off my life
and i still grieve why it can not be repited
Maria, a friend at work
was listening to the song you are beautiful
i gaught the song at the last sentence
"but is time to face the truth
i will never be with you"
thats a truth that i am not ready to face
i wait
i wait
i wait
leo asked me
if there was a possibility
that someone created
the perfect, treatment, potion, chemical whatever
that made human body be ageless
eternal life
and it was offered to you
would you take it?
same as isaac
when we where talking about becoming vampires
would we take the chance?
my answer remain unchanged
if i took the potion i would ask first to the person i love
if he whould take it
if he agreed
i would
that does not mean
the person have to be with me
even like me
but i would be happy if he is alive
if he is doing fine
and then i would take my inmortality
to make him be happy
the best way i can
even if that means walking away
or be with that person.
There are somethings
that make me think
and dissapoint me
last weekend
when you talked to me
you said
you have been drinking
meaning you were not thinking with your 5 senses
you have not made any kind of comments this week
this is why i wonder
if maybe you realized you really didnt want to say the things you said
on the other side
on monday you surprised me that way
thats why lil neko
i dont know what to do
i am sick and tired of wondering!!!!!!!!
i wait hour after hour
to see if you talk to me
at work
also when
im at home
i dont know
i wish i knew
but everything just conspires for me to think
that you could gimem a chance...
after friday
i am
or am i not
FUCK! why you complicate my life so much
you are the person i love
i feel that cold sensation
on my chest always i think on you
same coldness puts me in shivers
and bring tears to my eyes..
i dont knwop what to do
i saw you on friday
i was dying to kiss you
to hug you just to be next to you all night long
nights could become sweet crimes
on weekend i went to the kamen
with a friend
he got me a cute ice cream necklace
i might believe he is interested
because he asked me to go out again
and at works is rather more than kind with me
comes visit me at any free time he have
I dont wanna be involved in more
romantic issues here
neko i want you
i need you
if you care
if you can
why are you not forward with me
why you say you want to chill
then write me you wanna be with me
your mind works in rather mysterious ways lil mouse
but i wait
im a good girl and i wait for you
whatever is the desition you take
i will
thank you
thank you for going on with me on friday
it was 2nd
it was so important to me
14 months since the happiest day of my life
i wish moments like those, ever end...
and i would be able to watch your sleep
all night long....
im doing nothing at work
i dont have system access
so i spend my days in aux 2
this leave me so much time to think of you
why do you do this
why did you got close to me
if after all i would only end hurted
because you know i want you back
i wont give up and ill ask you out next weekend
i will find a way
i promised i would be there
and i am
why dont you just look at me?
maybe just maybe
you are a dream
you are my dream
but dont worry
as long as i am alive
your my dream will continue
even if in my dream i am just behind the glass wall
this is my week so far
i wonder hows your week
love of my life
-------------------------------------sabrina-----------------------------
song of the week
monochrome no kiss by SID

En el momento en que la proxima aguja larga
alcance el techo
tu ya no estaras, y yo ya no sere nesesario.

Aun asi, estoy seguro de que buscabamos la forma del amor
mas que a lo lejano,
esos ojos marchitos se aferran al presente
de ser posible, me gustaria acabar atrapado de esa forma
en vano, ese deseo de la noche traera la mañana.

Quote of the week

The promise given was a necessity of the past: the word broken is a necessity of the present.
Niccolo Machiavelli