week 34,35,36

This is almost the whole entry for november.i have been so numb all november
Coldness is killing my pain
coldness is taking me away
and i dance and i dance
between raindrops
that threaten me to damp my wings
im a buterfly
a dying butterfly
still i wont letmyself fall
i love you neko
i love you so much
i want tyou so bad
why are you gone?
what did i do?
i loved you too much
i still do
i dream of you at night
you have the key to set me free
or put me in hell
you are the rain that threatens me
you are the wind that keeps me floating
you are you are you are
im not afraid to say i am
im not afraid to say i do i want i love i miss
but i will never say i give up
not to you
not today
not ever
keep the finger on the trigger
the red laser light in the middle of my forehead
keep me tied in the middle of the dessert
keep me with the razor in my wrist
keep me frozen in my autistic world.
Keep keep keep
torturing me every night untiil i fade to black.
This time i could not write week after week.
Why?
im so numb to count time lately.
all i know is that i miss you
all i know is that im cold
all i know is that im lonely.
All i know is that i wont have you back.

---------------------------------------------------------------Sabrina
We both lie silently still
in the dead of the night
Although we both lie close together
We feel miles apart inside

Was it something I said or something I did
Did my words not come out right
Though I tried not to hurt you
Though I tried
But I guess that's why they say

Chorus:
Every rose has its thorn
Just like every night has its dawn
Just like every cowboy sings his sad, sad song
Every rose has its thorn

Yeah it does

I listen to our favorite song
playing on the radio
Hear the DJ say loves a game of easy come and easy go
But I wonder does he know
Has he ever felt like this
And I know that you'd be here right now
If I could let you know somehow
I guess

Chorus

Though it's been a while now
I can still feel so much pain
Like a knife that cuts you the wound heals
but the scar, that scar will remain

Solo

I know I could saved a love that night
If I'd known what to say
Instead of makin' love
We both made our separate ways

and now I hear you found somebody new
and that I never meant that much to you
To hear that tears me up inside
And to see you cuts me like a knife
I guess

Chorus


-------------------------------------------------------

Saliva - Rest

Look at me, my depth perception must be off again,
Cause this hurts deeper than I thought it did,
It has not healed with time...
It just shot down my spine.
You look so beautiful tonight,
Remind me how you laid us down,
And gently smiled,
Before you destroyed my life...

Would you find it in your heart,
To make this go away,
And let me rest in pieces?
(Let me rest in pieces)
Would you find it in your heart,
To make this go away,
And let me rest in pieces?
(Let me rest in pieces)

Look at me, my depth perception must be off again,
You got much closer than I thought you did,
I'm in your reach,
You held me in your hands...

But could you find it in your heart,
To make this go away,
And let me rest in pieces?
(Let me rest in pieces)
Would you find it in your heart,
To make this go away,
And let me rest in pieces?
(Let me rest in pieces)

Could you find, could you find in your heart?
(Could you find, could you let me rest in pieces)
Could you find, could you find in your heart?
(Could you find, could you let me rest in pieces)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Everytime I feel alone
I can blame it on you
And I do, oh

You got me like a loaded gun
Golden sun and sky so blue
We both know that we want it
But we both know you left me no choice

[Chorus:]
(Chaque fois que tu t'en vas)
You just bring me down
(Je pr©tends que tout va bien)
So I'm counting the tears 'til I get over you

Sometimes I watch the world go by
I wonder what it's like
To wake up every single day
Smile on your face
You never tried
We both know we can't change it
But we both know we'll just have to face it

[Chorus]

If only I could give you up
But would I want to let you off of this soapbox baby?
We both know that we want it
But we both know you left me no choice

[Chorus]

We both know that I'm not over you
I'm not over you

week 33

This is week 33
i crawl in this monotony
s spend halloween with l30
it was fun to be with him
just chilling
i liked it
then i remembered what i was doing
last year halloween
and all the pain
just slap me on the face
hold myself tight
keep drinking
keep smoking
keep faking
until i worn out
you walked away
why must you do this?
i hate myself for loving you the way i do
a love that wont let itself die
even when i try to kill it
even if i dont want to
i cans say anuthing else
as this week i was most of the tiome not awake.
im lonely
im xtreme lonely
i think its time to go back to live between robes
and medication smells
love of my life
i wish you are doing fine
xmas time is killing
me
just as kro said
baby steps..one at the time.

--------------------------------Sabrina------------------------
Song of the week
Lyrics to Dream Of You :
I've been here all the time
as far as i know doing right
i've always waited for the moment
that you would come through my door
but this brought loneliness ... so far
i lay my hand onto my heart
is this a life i want to live?
is this the dream i had of you?

... the dream i had of you?

now i'm standing here alone
waiting on my own
for something that will fill the emptiness inside...
the moment that you're mine
bit this is loneliness ... i know
i lay my hand onto my soul
is this what life has got to give?
is this the dream i had of you?

... the dream i had of you?
-schiller-


Quote of the week

"I dream of you when I'm asleep, you even appear when I'm awake daydreaming. There is no escaping you. I just wish it was true."
Source Unknown

week 32

This is week 32
there is no pain now
there is this coldness
that calm my pain
i lost my name
in a sea of empty memories
empty stares
empty face
i feel beutifully sad
i have not know about you ever since i wrote last time how much i missed you
i wake up every day
with an empty space next to me in the bed
i curl inside the bed sheets
im losing my sanity
what a beautiful insanity i am seeing
being developed in my very own self
in front of my eyes
I havent seen isaac
in quite a while
october is over
the christmas winds put the maple smell in the enviroment
somebody inject me a shot of atmosphere
Somebody get me a shot of anesthesia
and i want the shot to be given by you
little hunter of my dreams
this is week 32
i hope ure doing just fine
love of my life
---------------------------------sabrina----------------------------
quote of the week
La muerte en compañia no es la muerte, ni siquiera para los más incrédulos, porque lo que mas duele no es dejar la vida, sino abandonar lo que le da sentido...*"
Raymond Radiguet

Song of the week
When I see your smile
Tears run down my face
I can't replace
And now that I'm strong
I have figured out
How this world turns cold
and it breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find
deep inside me
I can be the one

I will never let you fall(let you fall)
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all(though it all)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall (let you fall)
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay, stay

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
[to fade]
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