week8

this is week 8

nothing is harder

than standing memories

i see you in my dreams

i cry myself to sleep

i wish i could just dispatch my skin

wash it over and over

until the sickness wore away

the nausea have not passed away

at caritos b-day

one of my worst days

not only i had to see you

be next to you

i had to see him

my heart melted away

when you touched my hair

i miss you

so much

i remember the 20 fluoxetin

i had to swallow

just to stand this day

and the pizza

i had to talk with ran

cuz i was not comfortable in the

same table as you

and as him

sharing food

i hated that day

i want you here with me

why anyone hears me!?

i need you

i want you

this sickness cant stop!

i feel so disgusted

i told the issue to leo

he is a cold thinker

same reply as everyone else

well, isaac and kro

ran and carito kind of know

but not the complete history

life reinforce

the thoughs of my mind

the echoing voices

telling me

im worth nothing

a plastic doll

made to waste

a faulty prototype

a mold that needs to be destroyed

because nothing else

can be taken

you take my heart

and fabio took my sanity complete

raping the pieces of me

taking away the broken soul

remaining on me

i hate him!!!!!

i finally know what hate is!!!!

i hate him!!!!!!

i hate him!!!!!!

i hate him!!!!!!

i hate him!!!!!!

i hate him!!!!!!

i hate him!!!!!!

i hate him!!!!!!

i hate him!!!!!!

i hate him!!!!!!

i hate him!!!!!!

i hate him!!!!!!

i hate him!!!!!!

i hate him!!!!!!

i hate him!!!!!!

i hate him!!!!!!

i hate him!!!!!!

i hate him!!!!!!

i hate him!!!!!!

i hate him!!!!!!

i am disgusted with the world!

and EVERY single one of the habitants

i hate life!!!!

my grandparents are sick

both of them

and i am the only one taking care of them!

and i am scared

but there is no one to hold me

isaac told me

carito was an ill intentioned friend

i had realized previously

but never believed she would be

dying to cause me harm

i know when i talked to ran

carito get mad

because he left her alone

on the table for a few minutes

i know i did wrong

i know i shouldnt lied to you

everytime i m scared

i do stupid things

but if i tried hard enough

would you be back??

could i be in your arms once more?

fairytales seem stupid and unreal

it hurts so much i cant even cry anymore

i have to always pretend

with a fucking fake smile

making everyone smile

im tired of this

but i have to keep on

for my grandparents

because me is all they have

at work im doing average i guess

not the best not the worst

however ppl never leave me alone

i always see your friend

victor looking at me

talking in whispers

everytime i am around

i am not going to ask why

i ask when will this end

until the day i die

i will spill my blood for you

cry my eves out

i have so many things to tell you

but you wont listen

you moved on

someone else posses your heart

i wonder what you did with mine?

probably deleted

all our photos

probably all the poems

are gone

all my gifts

in the trash can

and my heart

propably somewhere

rotten dead destroyed

and abandoned

whatever you do

wherever you go

my heart is with you

always was always will

and my heart

does no good to this body

in pieces, violated and disturbed

with no life

it will only contaminate the few good memories left

im slowly starving

i cant eat

im too disgusted to bring food to my mouth

i hate this solitude

i hate this mask i have to wear

i hate to pretenf

i am someone i am not

i finally know what hate is

i finally know what being alone

between mankind reallty is

this weeked i will stay at kro house

with isaac

kro mom is gone for the week

family issues i believe

is gonna be hard

cuz she worries about me

and she will make me eat and stuffs

right now my best friend is isaac

because he hear me

and conforts me

only by listening

and i do the same with him]

i need no advise

no comments

just someone to listen to me

while you are way

i wish your caress in my solitude

happy anniversary,

a year ago you possesed me

for the first time

and i gave myself to you

as you gave myself to me

do you remember the warmth of our bodies

moving together

at the rithm

of a hearthbeat

i wonder how is your week so far

love of my life?

----------------------Sabrina--------------------

Song of the week Wishing you were somehow here again by sarah brightman

Why can't the past just die?
Wishing you were somehow here again
Knowing we must say goodbye
Try to forgive, teach me to live
Give me the strength to try
No more memories, no more 

Quote of the week 

“Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply; those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they now set on fire.”

I wish someone  woulg visit me, so i wouldnt feel so abandoned.... i need human contact.... maybe...just maybe this is what it always meant to be, how it always ment to happen