week 2

is funny, i have so many things to tell you but you are not here anymore Im finally fulfilling my dream and learning to play violin you know why i always wanted to play violin? so i can play suteki da ne for you No one can understand the song as we did now the song is a painful memory of what can never be at work? im doing great im really improving, my boss always congratulate me i try to keep myself busy to stop thinking about you as soon as i am alone walking in the street, or at home the sensation of choking always came i tried to suicide too many times Prana, or the Karma or God whatever you want to call it Does not want me to leave the earth I still wait for you Do you feel my pain at night? do you scream and have horrible nightmares night after night? I remember you as you were when i first kiss you i have the fake memory of you being buried in a coffin so i can accept you are not coming back i wanted to believe you died loving me but i know you are there feeling nothing for me as i die for you here Im redecorating my room i swear you would have loved it i painted the wall black with neon green and pink my favorite colors remember? i got rid of my toys im just growing up... i bought a home theater to match my 42" plasma TV im buying a ps3 maybe we can play online sometime i have to get a gaming router Mine have so many devices connected that will collapse soon you would be so proud of me i can finally talk like a geek and techie just like you did im planning to get an air conditioner soon as well my room is very hot and painted in black is worse i bought a puff so i can be confortable playing i finished my design of the tattoo maybe i will show it to you i have to go to the center but im so afraid of seeing you even by mistake i know i would run away i know i would cry like fool and collapse but i don't care behaving as an insane kid i always did Its been weeks since i heard Rosemary She is not talking Not even cursing me and you Sometimes i believe You left me because of my multiple personality disorder Candie does not want to be called like that anymore i think its because you named her as i told you "i avenge with surviving only" not even living just surviving every night every horrible dream i think sometimes i had better stood in the mental hospital I blame myself for everything deep myself i know i did i would die to see you to kiss you to touch you because in my memories you are so real this is the second week since you walked away im taking care of myself but i keep the would bleeding out inside hurts worse every day gets painfuller every second but i love you and if i have to live with pain or to let your memory die i chose pain i chose to be miserable and lonely Hell is to wait without hope i chose hell i chose to wait i chose to love you I wonder how your week was sweet love of mine? -------------sabrina-----------
Song of the week: Follow you into the dark (originally by death cab for a cuttie, i hear version by kate covington) "If there's no one beside you When your soul embarks Then I'll follow you into the dark" Quote of the week: «L'enfer, c'est l'attente sans espoir.» [ André Giroux ] - Malgré tout, la joie