Rosemary´s Inferno

Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding someone to live for, great enough to die for because there is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy. We are all lonely for something we don't know we´re lonely for... How else to explain the curious feeling that goes around ? Feeling like missing somebody we´ve never even met? The end comes when we no longer talk with ourselves. It is the end of genuine thinking and the beginning of the final loneliness... its called insanity.
The remarkable thing is that the cessation of the inner dialogue marks also the end of our concern with the world around us. It is as if we noted the world and think about it only when we have to report ourselves. With some people solitariness is only an escape not from other but to themselves.For they see in the eyes of others only a reflecction of themselves...
It is loneliness that make the loudest noise, This is true as men as dogs...If you are alone you belong entirely for yourself. If you are accompanied by even one companion you belong only have to yourself, even less, in proportion of the thoughtlessness of his conduct; and if you have more than one companion you will fall deeply into the same plight.
But the loneliest it gets when the wind begins to chill and when i sit atop of your old street. The withered flowers brings a still emptiness to me. There is nothing i would rather do than have my heart broken by you. Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the spaces between the notes and curl my back to loneliness as I was before...just recalling and going back in time... I feel like trapped, There is a cold wind blowing softly through a narrow , dark ravine. A sound is heard, soft and everywhere, like the rustle of silk. It echoes from every dismal reaching corner of the abyss, and whispers of the aching loneliness within the crevasse. A cold blue-white light transcends an aura of weird lifelessness to the jagged rocks of the cleft walls. There appears a soul within all of this, like a thin frail mist, congealing within its center a tiny translucent gray cloud. Each person was to himself alone. One oneness, a unit of society, but always afraid, always alone. If i should scream, if i should call for help, would anyone hear? Would it even matter?. my throat begs for it...Its burning to yell, but why? You wont even listen to me? They say time takes it all, whether you want it or not, i don't believe time can heal, i believe you decide the time to heal, whether to heal or to remain wounded and bleeding. But time takes away, and in the end there is only darkness. Sometimes i find others in darkness, and sometimes i lose them there again. And i look again towards the sky as the raindrops mix with the tears i cry. Tears Idle tears, i know not what they mean. Tears from the depth of some divine despair rise in the heart and gather to the eyes, In looking on the happy Autumn fields, And thinking of the days that are no more. Do you seriously think that blood is the only thing in this world that is colored red?. A feeling that everything must end, the music, ourselves, the moon, everything. That if you get to the heart of things you find sadness for ever and ever, everywhere: But a beautiful silver sadness, I believe where there is sorrow, there is holy ground; Sometimes to realize you were well, someone must come along and hurt you, sometimes even yourself, I'm not as dumb as you think i am. I´ve learned a thing or two. I don't care about nothing at all, but i think in the world of YOU. They say to the world you maybe only a person but to one person you may be the world, for me the world is you as you are my world. But i was born to lose, Ive lived what i have lived of my life full of regrets full of memories, almost in vain if it weren't because of you. All my dreams have only caused me pain. Most part of my life i have been so blue. Born to lose and now im loosing you, the only one i cared, maybe i already did lost you but i pretend to be blind enough to ease the pain. The joy of life and its affairs of happiness digress into a pain of lost height. So, in all happiness there is sadness. That of a depressed state of losing, a time which no enjoyment can fervor the full amount because of the hidden realization of drowning the opposites. Love is the distance between reality and pain. I´ve learned to live with the pain. I wont know who i am without it. The pain is unrelenting; one does not abandon even briefly, one´s bed of nails, but is attached wherever you go. Who needs love when you got a gun? this is not the end, is not even the beginning of the end but is the end of the beginning...Rose thorns are not enough piercing as the needles... All i wanted is your shoulder to lay on, eternally. I love you, Cant stop the fire in my lungs that burns my throat and shut my mouth I tried to whisper to yell to shout to and gossip to scream and shut up... useless...looks like its not understandable, like echoes of soundless prayers.
I'm in charge of this Inferno and i don't think i can pull up the fight for far too long, not without explanations.